Codependency is thinking, feeling and actions created by the subconscious normally in the pre-teen stage of development...
A codependent person generally excepted 'adult' responsibilities during this stage of development...and is usually described as un-usually obsessed with finding and keeping love, affection and acceptance, even at the expense of their own personality or happiness.
to resolve your CODEPENDENCY (and other addictions) is to engage in an in-depth
process of emotional healing and self-nurturing psychotherapy.For the
treatment method I recommend click here: http://codependency-treatment.weebly.com/
Others views are generally misunderstanding of the label codependency...Many people cannot understand why someone codependent cannot or will not just stop...looking for the addictive like affection of abuse, and take the action steps with individuals who need to be removed from their life. Others have contempt for the codependents apparent inability to just say no to their partner/others, and...even when they say "yes" a threat is created to their constituents.
Understanding the Subconscious: Where do codependency feelings come from?
If you ever took a psychology course in college you may have learned…
Thoughts lead to feelings.
Feelings lead to actions.
Actions lead to results.
Your personal blueprint consists of a combination of your thoughts, feelings, and actions in the arena of how you live life. To break the cycle of codependency... is not easy... unlessyougo to the root issues in your subconscious mind.
(See what I recommend below for those who need Codependency counseling).
Bottom-line...most people acquire their codependent behavior in childhood. Having grown up in an emotionally unstable family life can help people-pleasing behaviors found with most codependents. Sadly...the same children who have worked hard to appease an emotionally unstable father are at the whim of an alcoholic partner as an adult.
The cycles of codependency and abusive behaviors tend to run in families and are passed from parents to children.
It is important to note that the cycle will continue unless someone (YOU) decides to end it.
When your are ready to account that you have codependent tendencies, there are several steps you can take to increase your chances of success.
#1…decide that you are the first interest or priority; your physical and emotional needs are important and should be a priority in your life. Initially, this can be a difficult task to achieve, because it feels very "selfish".
Did you know? Many of our 'cultural ideals' of romantic relationships are based on a model of co-dependency. If you judge yourself by using the 'Disney movies' and paperback romance novels your order, you will fall woefully short.
While codependent 'love' certainly does not mean much to offer those around you (dependent on you and you codependent on them), it should never be completely one-sided. Realize that you cannot keep up a relationship (even on your own) for to long with out...emotional COLLAPSE. Your partner must contribute differently and equally to your emotional needs or you will fall by the wayside.
2. Ask yourself whom do you surround yourself with... Do you surround yourself with emotional 'vampires'?
In popular fiction, vampires suck the blood of their innocent victims. Many codependent people surround themselves with emotional vampires (other co-dependent people who seem to consume the last drop of your emotional reserves without contributing anything in return).
If you are determined to end their co-dependent behavior it isn't easy...you don't have to cut these people out of your life completely, I suggest you simply setting healthy boundaries. If you struggle doing this you may need counseling. (See what I suggest below).When a friend asks a favor or any other indication of this...your test begins...can you say no?
3. Learn the art of saying No, and it’s meaning.
Here are some more signs...Are you saying, "I would never do that", only to find yourself lowering your standards to meet your partner? Are you blaming others for the bad decisions you made in your personal life? Although most codependent people can feel like saying "no" they rarely take their family there, ...learn to say "no" and to say what really is...this is the first step towards creating healthy boundaries.
4. The use of the word "no" and mean it takes practice.
Be sure to start small. Choose a situation where you would normally 'give in' to avoid confrontation. Instead of automatically guessing your own values and value, you remember why you chose to say "no" to begin with. If you keep your original intent in mind, you'll find it much easier to stay still.
Note: The rule of 7 states that: "It takes 7 successful repeated attempts to break a habit".
THE LIBERATOR METHOD CAN ASSIST YOU TO DISCOVER THE FLAWS IN YOUR PROGRAMMING AS WELL AS YOUR ‘REASONS’ FOR ACCEPTING THEM DURING YOUR PERSONAL SESSIONS WITH A TLM COUNSELOR.
If you are serious about changing, I encourage you to schedule a FREE CONSULTATION (with me) at:
References: Conquering Codependency in a Relationship We can evaluate a relationship as a pertaining procedure. The following concerns offer to further simplify this, Who is with regards to whom? What is the objective and objective of the relating? Healthy, inter-dependent relationship In a balanced grownup relationship, one between implies, each individual represents the capability to be accountable for himself (accountability) and to be accountable to the other (relationship) to provide what each has guaranteed. Independence in a relationship When a individual represents complete liability for himself/herself only. There is very little or no liability to the associate. Codependence in a relationship When a individual becomes far too engaged with another individual in supposing liability for their results. They intrude into the liability place of the other individual and don't succeed to believe appropriate liability for themselves. Signs of codependency Emotional Signs
- A need for certainty
- A need for control
- Worry and worry
- Brooding and fanatical analysis OVERCOMING CODEPENDENCY: THE UGLY TRUTH BEHIND How To Overcome Codependency... Am I Codependent? http://dallas.backpage.com/Groups/overcoming-codependency-the-ugly-truth-behind-how-to-overcome-codependency-am-i-codependent/15001803 Behavioral Signs - Serious modification of the own goals and choices. This may begin out very slightly, but gradually it can be insiduous condition to self-esteem. - Discrepancy in the power and interest given to the relationship. Some typical styles involve creating most of the cellphone calls, preparing most of the actions etc. Moreover, a very deeply anger can make from an imbalance of really like. This includes: being the one to do most of the thoughtful things—including providing presents, confessing the other, indicating gratitude, showing really like and passion, and even starting sex.
This indication of imbalance is carefully relevant to the indication of quit. The one who tends to do the most in the relationship also tends to provide up the most. This can make a Ioss of identification and individual viewpoint. It happens when there's a wish to get away from individual pursuits—and it can improve to compromising your own household and self confidence in deference to what you understand to be your lover's needs.
- Not enough ability to disengage when it's obvious that there's no more any reciprocity of feeling. Some concerns to ask yourself In codependent interactions, being far too "giving" at the price of ourselves is a significant problem. This form of "giving" is not according to unconditional really like.
- Do you experience harm or furious when you do not get anything again from your giving?
- Does your providing experience vitalized or more worn out and more drained?
- Does your providing experience satisfied and wondrous or does it result in you feeling lacking, disappointed or depressed?
- Does your providing make you more highly effective or weaker? Do have better wellness or do you get tired more often from your type of giving?
- Does your way of providing carry fear and get worried or serenity and joy?
- Does your providing experience obvious or full?
- Do you usually get worried in your relationship, or do you believe in them?
- Do you try to management or let it be?
- Are you connected to results or can you take that all elements perform together for the greatest good?
- Does your way of providing help you experience psychologically more highly effective and more protected or does it experience more at the wish of your lover's feelings and behaviors? Exercise to get over codependency
1) Recognize someone you have become over-involved with.
Who do you experience accountable for? What are you accountable for in relationship and to whom are you responsible?
2) Recognize how the relationship relationships are represented
As you check out your body and observe where you feeling relationships from you to the other individual, what do you find? Such representations usually take the way of various metaphors of relationship, such as rules, relationships, attire post, etc. What are you conscious of in conditions in some metaphoric way that seems to explain how you signify your connectedness?
3) Serious the relationships.
Now think about, for a second, that you have become totally devoid of the relationships. Does any aspect of you item to this? If some aspect elements, find out its optimistic objective in developing or maintaining the tie. Recognize what additional obtain (positive intention) you acquire from the relationship.
4) Recognize your outcomes
Identify your objective in maintaining a codependent relationship to this other individual. What do you get from this relationship? What do offer this relationship? What do you have to give? What do you want to receive?
5) Create an suitable self with the flexibility and liability to be ourselves.
What would be an suitable picture of you who has all the options, features, and capabilities necessary to have balanced interactions with yourself and your partner? How clearly can you see, listen to, and experience this suitable self? Where could you put this picture so that it is in just the right place for prepared access? Does this suitable self have a way to tell apart liability for and to? How do you signify that distinction?
6) Become the practical you
Do you now have authorization to detachment each unsafe tie from others? When you do, then experience yourself linking to your suitable self/Higher Self and experience the power that comes from being absolutely accountable for yourself. How does that feel? What improvements do you need to make this more gripping and powerful? Imagine getting your preferred result as you stay out from this suitable self rather than feeling desperate. What is that like? Relax in all of the excellent thoughts and be with them for a few moments.
7) Hook up others to their own practical self
Do you believe that others are accountable for themselves? That they and they only have the capability to reply psychologically, psychologically, vocally, and behaviorally? Send this to the others in your lifestyle and think about them linking to their own suitable self/Higher Self and having the capability to sustain excellent limitations and answer properly.
8) Now think about going into your upcoming with all of this, pertaining properly with your associate and others. An Energy Centered Perspective on Codependency
Have you every considered what really happens to the electro-magnetic place around you ie your element when you practice a deal with with your partner in contrast to when you are connecting lovingly? Or what happens energetically in a codependent relationship? Energy alternation in a codependent relationship There are 2 kinds of codependent power deals.
1) In relation to mostly on the power of your associate for your own well-being. When we are too much reliant on another for power, we rely less on the power from Source/God. The relationship string to Resource, although it is always there, is not used as much for the transference of power. Resource has an limitless provide of high-quality lifestyle power power, whereas our associate, is restricted in their own power provide. Centered on power of another can be assets on the individual's power, tiring the other individual gradually.
2) Directing most of your power towards your partner
In this situation most of the lifestyle power that one gets is routed to the associate. This rise of power can be frustrating for the associate and they may decline it. The far too providing associate many experience harm by the reaction. Consequently he/she may need more power from the associate, leading to type 1 codependency. This type of terrible circle can cause a relationship to control downwards gradually. Co-dependency and the Law of Peculiar Intent When we get away from our pride in a relationship, all we're eventually available is a gripping feeling of avoid and an frustrating feeling of absence. Consequently, we can never really experience protected. Whatever we have within our relationship is an impression. Since we know our relationship is developed on a lie, we're meant to always experience terrified and obvious. No relationship, habit, or purchase will ever be highly effective enough to complete a middle without pride. Actually, there will never be enough of anything to complete the middle that has missing its recognition.
Why do we set ourselves up for such misery? We engage in a relationship because we will be satisfied. At some point, the search becomes so essential that we're willing to disregard our recognition to power it to occur. We end up feeling separated, puzzled, and not appreciated. In such a condition, we cannot perhaps be satisfied. We have developed the paradox of our intent!
Some recommendations to get over co-dependency: Pray, reflect to reunite to Resource. Meditate to reunite to your Greater Self. Focus on your own objectives. Picture yourself as having obtained these objectives. Identify what that would do for you. This would improve your wish, commitment and generate towards reaching your goals.
Engage in activities/hobbies that compensate and run you with thoughts of fulfillment and fulfillment.
Engage in group assistance tasks.
Invest period in self-improvement - changing understanding and abilities.
Read autobiographies of your aspect models/people whom you appreciate for creativity.
Watch videos/documentaries of your aspect models/people whom you appreciate for creativity.
Most of all, unconditionally know that your associate adores you and perform from that stage. Essentially your relationship should be an inter-dependent one. Freedom in interactions can be quite unsafe because this implies that you do not consider your lover's thoughts when doing/deciding on something. Overcome Codependence hypnotism - Co-Dependent No More sessions are developed to help you find out your middle, to re-discover yourself and what truly creates you experience much better. Then you can be with another and reveal of your energy and energy, power and passion in a way that creates you experience much better about you, in a way that preserves your feeling of reliability and self-esteem and to the stage that creates you experience much better. In this way, you never have to experience or act like a martyr or to experience the cramping that were not yours to experience. In this way you can carry on in serenity, without any thoughts of guiltiness or responsibility and with regard for yourself and for the other individual.