CODEPENDENCY AND THINKING ERRORS...
BLACK & WHITE THINKING is simply a way that our mind convinces us of something that isn’t really true. These inaccurate thoughts are usually used to reinforce negative thinking or emotions — telling ourselves things that sound rational and accurate, but really only serve to keep us in a ‘childish’ mindset unconscious and unaware of all our possibilities.
BLACK & WHITE THINKING Defined:
"In psychology, a related phenomenon to the 'false dilemma' is black-and-white thinking. Many people routinely engage in black-and-white thinking, an example of which is someone who labels other people as all good or all bad"...
"The latter is thinking purely in extremes (e.g., goodness vs. evil, innocence vs. corruption, victimization vs. oppression, etc.)".
(From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia)
BLACK & WHITE THINKING is a possible symptom of CODEPENDENCY, Borderline, Narcissistic and Avoidant Personality Disorders.
If you believe you or someone you love match this criteria, take a deep breath & don’t panic. Many people find themselves matching about 70% of criteria for different disorders in DSM IV, yet they don’t have any ‘personality disorders’. And even then only about 1/3 of individuals that are diagnosed with a personality disorder by qualified professionals are believed to actually have the disorder.
What is BLACK & WHITE THINKING (and where in the mind)?
Going deeper…these are unconscious beliefs located in the subconscious…a form of arrested emotional development in childhood that has continued into adult years. Unconscious beliefs that are programmed responses in the fight-flight-freeze response.
Where does BLACK & WHITE THINKING come from?
BLACK & WHITE THINKING is being stuck in (or Anchored to) an emotional level of development from childhood experience also called “resource states”. Out of these ‘negative’ beliefs comes an underlying & unconscious commitment. I.E. I’m not good enough, I was a mistake, I’m dumb, etc.…
Anchoring to a ‘resource state’ and BLACK & WHITE THINKING
To describe this classical conditioning behavior called anchoring in a human context. We must understand and take note that as we go through life we build a lot of anchors for various responses.
Examples: How many of us feel a certain way when we hear "Our song", or have a sense of dread when we hear a certain tone in a parent's voice?
Anchors are learned responses…and the amazing thing about an anchor is that it is usually learned in result of a single learning experience (psychotherapists call the resource state). It is normally the case that there is one defining incident that creates the anchor program in the subconscious. Then the learned response is repeated and conditioned.
Pavlov’s Law
Pavlov was a scientist in the 1800’s who discovered that behaviors could be triggered by signals. Pavlov tested ringing a bell while simultaneously presenting dogs with food. Before long, the dogs ‘learned’ to salivate to the sound of the bell, without the food. The bell became a ‘trigger’ for the response of salivation. Splitting is conditioned in much the same way.
Arrested Emotional Development and BLACK & WHITE THINKING
Central to personality disorder problems, is “arrested emotional development”, which is triggered by parental neglect and/or abuse in infancy and childhood (birth-18 years old).
NOTE: Adult development can be accomplished, but it takes time and treatment to mend the core trauma wounds that are inherently at the root of this dysfunction of emotional development.
Normal Adult Thinking verses BLACK & WHITE THINKING
Critical adult thinking involves…logical reality based thinking and reasoning…(including skills such as comparison, classification, sequencing, cause/effect, patterning, webbing, analogies, deductive & inductive reasoning, forecasting, planning, hypothesizing, & critiquing).
This brings us to “The Eight Psychosocial Stages of Human Development”
Dr. Erik Erikson, the famous psychologist (1902-1994) who proposed these Stages found that...
…Unresolved Childhood Developmental Tasks “leave a life-long residue of emotional immaturity.”
In other words…
You’re original, immature, unidentified Subconscious Issues Are controlling your behaviors—and even your thinking...
So now that you know what BLACK & WHITE THINKING is, how do you go about undoing (or resolving) this subconscious program?
Read how by clicking here:
http://codependency-treatment-cure.webs.com/
http://codependency-treatment.weebly.com/
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NOTES:
Conquering Codependency in a Relationship
We can evaluate a relationship as a pertaining procedure. The following concerns offer to further simplify this,
Who is with regards to whom?
What is the objective and objective of the relating?
Healthy, inter-dependent relationship
In a balanced mature relationship, one between implies, each individual represents the capability to be accountable for himself (accountability) and to be accountable to the other (relationship) to provide what each has guaranteed.
Independence in a relationship
When a individual represents complete liability for himself/herself only. There is very little or no liability to the associate.
Codependence in a relationship
When a individual becomes far too engaged with another individual in supposing liability for their reactions. They intrude into the liability place of the other individual and don't succeed to believe appropriate liability for themselves.
Signs of codependency
Emotional Signs
- A need for certainty
- A need for control
- Worry and worry
- Brooding and excessive analysis
Behavioral Signs
- Serious modification of the own goals and choices. This may begin out very slightly, but gradually it can be insiduous condition to self-esteem.
- Discrepancy in the power and interest given to the relationship. Some typical styles involve creating most of the cellphone calls, preparing most of the actions etc. Moreover, a very deeply anger can make from an imbalance of really like. This includes: being the one to do most of the thoughtful things—including gift ideas, confessing the other, indicating gratitude, showing really like and really like, and even starting sex.
This indication of imbalance is carefully relevant to the indication of compromise. The one who tends to do the most in the relationship also tends to compromise the most. This can make a Ioss of identification and individual viewpoint. It happens when there's a wish to get away from individual pursuits—and it can improve to compromising your own household and self confidence in deference to what you understand to be your lover's needs.
- Deficit of ability to disengage when it's obvious that there's no more any reciprocity of feeling.
Some concerns to ask yourself
In codependent interactions, being far too "giving" at the price of yourself is a significant problem. This form of "giving" is not according to unconditional really like.
- Do you experience harm or furious when you do not acquire anything back again from your giving?
- Does your providing experience vitalized or more fatigued and more drained?
- Does your providing experience satisfied and wondrous or does it result in you feeling lacking, disappointed or depressed?
- Does your providing make you more highly effective or weaker? Do have better wellness or do you get tired more often from your type of giving?
- Does your way of providing carry fear and fear or serenity and joy?
- Does your providing experience obvious or full?
- Do you usually fear in your relationship, or do you believe in them?
- Do you try to management or let it be?
- Are you connected to results or can you take that all elements perform together for the greatest good?
- Does your way of providing help you experience psychologically more highly effective and more protected or does it experience more at the wish of your lover's feelings and behaviors?
Exercise to get over codependency
1) Recognize someone you have become over-involved with.
Who do you experience accountable for?
What are you accountable for in relationship and to whom are you responsible?
2) Recognize how the relationship relationships are represented
As you check out your body and observe where you feeling relationships from you to the other individual, what do you find? Such representations usually take the way of various metaphors of relationship, such as rules, relationships, attire post, etc.
What are you conscious of in conditions in some metaphoric way that seems to explain how you signify your connectedness?
3) Serious the relationships.
Now think about, for a second, that you have become totally exempt from the relationships.
Does any aspect of you item to this?
If some aspect elements, find out its good objective in developing or maintaining the tie. Recognize what additional obtain (positive intention) you acquire from the relationship.
4) Recognize your outcomes
Identify your objective in maintaining a codependent relationship to this other individual.
What do you get from this relationship?
What do offer this relationship?
What do you have to give? What do you want to receive?
5) Build an perfect self with the flexibility and liability to be yourself.
What would be an perfect picture of you who has all the options, features, and capabilities necessary to have balanced interactions with yourself and your partner?
How clearly can you see, listen to, and experience this perfect self?
Where could you put this picture so that it is in just the right place for prepared access?
Does this perfect self have a way to tell apart liability for and to?
How do you signify that distinction?
6) Become the practical you
Do you now have authorization to detachment each dangerous tie from others?
When you do, then experience yourself linking to your perfect self/Higher Self and experience the power that comes from being absolutely accountable for yourself. How does that feel?
What improvements do you need to make this more highly effective and powerful?
Imagine getting your preferred result as you stay out from this perfect self rather than feeling disadvantaged. What is that like? Relax in all of the excellent thoughts and be with them for a few moments.
7) Be connected others to their own practical self
Do you believe that others are accountable for themselves? That they and they only have the capability to reply psychologically, psychologically, vocally, and behaviorally?
Send this to the others in your lifestyle and think about them linking to their own perfect self/Higher Self and having the capability to sustain excellent limitations and answer properly.
8) Now think about going into your upcoming with all of this, pertaining properly with your associate and others.
An Energy Centered Perspective on Codependency
Have you every considered what really happens to the electro-magnetic place around you ie your element when you practice a deal with with your partner in contrast to when you are connecting lovingly? Or what happens energetically in a codependent relationship?
Energy return in a codependent relationship
There are 2 kinds of codependent power deals.
1) In relation to mostly on the power of your associate for your own well-being.
When we are too much based on another for power, we rely less on the power from Source/God. The relationship cable to Resource, although it is always there, is not used as much for the transference of power. Resource has an endless provide of high-quality lifestyle power power, whereas our associate, is restricted in their own power provide. Centered on power of another can be assets on the individual's power, tiring the other individual gradually.
2) Redirecting most of your power towards your partner
In this situation most of the lifestyle power that one gets is routed to the associate. This improve of power can be frustrating for the associate and they may decline it. The far too providing associate many experience harm by the reaction. Consequently he/she may need more power from the associate, leading to type 1 codependency. This type of terrible circle can cause a relationship to control downwards gradually.
Co-dependency and the Law of Peculiar Intent
When we get away from our pride in a relationship, all we're eventually available is a highly effective feeling of avoid and an frustrating feeling of absence. Consequently, we can never really experience protected. Whatever we have within our relationship is an impression. Since we know our relationship is developed on a lie, we're meant to always experience terrified and obvious. No relationship, habit, or purchase will ever be highly effective enough to complete a middle without pride. Actually, there will never be enough of anything to complete the middle that has missing its recognition.
Why do we set ourselves up for such misery? We engage in a relationship because we plan to be satisfied. Eventually, the search becomes so essential that we're willing to disregard our recognition to power it to occur. We end up feeling separated, puzzled, and not appreciated. In such a condition, we cannot perhaps be satisfied. We have developed the paradox of our intent!
Some recommendations to get over co-dependency:
Pray, reflect to get in touch to Resource. Meditate to get in touch to your Greater Self.
Focus on your own objectives. Imagine yourself as having obtained these objectives. Identify what that would do for you. This would improve your wish, commitment and generate towards reaching your ambitions.
Engage in activities/hobbies that compensate and motivate you with thoughts of fulfillment and fulfillment.
Engage in group assistance tasks.
Invest period in self-improvement - changing abilities and understanding.
Read autobiographies of your aspect models/people whom you appreciate for creativity.
Watch videos/documentaries of your aspect models/people whom you appreciate for creativity.
Most of all, unconditionally know that your associate likes you and perform from that stage. Preferably your relationship should be an inter-dependent one. Independence in interactions can be quite dangerous because this implies that you do not consider your lover's thoughts when doing/deciding on something.Overcome Codependence hypnotism - Co-Dependent No More sessions are developed to help you find out your middle, to re-discover yourself and what truly creates you experience much better. Then you can be with another and reveal of your energy and energy, power and really like in a way that creates you experience much better about you, in a way that preserves your feeling of reliability and self-esteem and to the stage that creates you experience much better. In this way, you never have to experience or act like a martyr or to experience the cramping that were not yours to experience. In this way you can carry on in serenity, without any thoughts of guiltiness or fault and with regard for yourself and for the other individual.
BLACK & WHITE THINKING Defined:
"In psychology, a related phenomenon to the 'false dilemma' is black-and-white thinking. Many people routinely engage in black-and-white thinking, an example of which is someone who labels other people as all good or all bad"...
"The latter is thinking purely in extremes (e.g., goodness vs. evil, innocence vs. corruption, victimization vs. oppression, etc.)".
(From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia)
BLACK & WHITE THINKING is a possible symptom of CODEPENDENCY, Borderline, Narcissistic and Avoidant Personality Disorders.
If you believe you or someone you love match this criteria, take a deep breath & don’t panic. Many people find themselves matching about 70% of criteria for different disorders in DSM IV, yet they don’t have any ‘personality disorders’. And even then only about 1/3 of individuals that are diagnosed with a personality disorder by qualified professionals are believed to actually have the disorder.
What is BLACK & WHITE THINKING (and where in the mind)?
Going deeper…these are unconscious beliefs located in the subconscious…a form of arrested emotional development in childhood that has continued into adult years. Unconscious beliefs that are programmed responses in the fight-flight-freeze response.
Where does BLACK & WHITE THINKING come from?
BLACK & WHITE THINKING is being stuck in (or Anchored to) an emotional level of development from childhood experience also called “resource states”. Out of these ‘negative’ beliefs comes an underlying & unconscious commitment. I.E. I’m not good enough, I was a mistake, I’m dumb, etc.…
Anchoring to a ‘resource state’ and BLACK & WHITE THINKING
To describe this classical conditioning behavior called anchoring in a human context. We must understand and take note that as we go through life we build a lot of anchors for various responses.
Examples: How many of us feel a certain way when we hear "Our song", or have a sense of dread when we hear a certain tone in a parent's voice?
Anchors are learned responses…and the amazing thing about an anchor is that it is usually learned in result of a single learning experience (psychotherapists call the resource state). It is normally the case that there is one defining incident that creates the anchor program in the subconscious. Then the learned response is repeated and conditioned.
Pavlov’s Law
Pavlov was a scientist in the 1800’s who discovered that behaviors could be triggered by signals. Pavlov tested ringing a bell while simultaneously presenting dogs with food. Before long, the dogs ‘learned’ to salivate to the sound of the bell, without the food. The bell became a ‘trigger’ for the response of salivation. Splitting is conditioned in much the same way.
Arrested Emotional Development and BLACK & WHITE THINKING
Central to personality disorder problems, is “arrested emotional development”, which is triggered by parental neglect and/or abuse in infancy and childhood (birth-18 years old).
NOTE: Adult development can be accomplished, but it takes time and treatment to mend the core trauma wounds that are inherently at the root of this dysfunction of emotional development.
Normal Adult Thinking verses BLACK & WHITE THINKING
Critical adult thinking involves…logical reality based thinking and reasoning…(including skills such as comparison, classification, sequencing, cause/effect, patterning, webbing, analogies, deductive & inductive reasoning, forecasting, planning, hypothesizing, & critiquing).
This brings us to “The Eight Psychosocial Stages of Human Development”
Dr. Erik Erikson, the famous psychologist (1902-1994) who proposed these Stages found that...
…Unresolved Childhood Developmental Tasks “leave a life-long residue of emotional immaturity.”
In other words…
You’re original, immature, unidentified Subconscious Issues Are controlling your behaviors—and even your thinking...
So now that you know what BLACK & WHITE THINKING is, how do you go about undoing (or resolving) this subconscious program?
Read how by clicking here:
http://codependency-treatment-cure.webs.com/
http://codependency-treatment.weebly.com/
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NOTES:
Conquering Codependency in a Relationship
We can evaluate a relationship as a pertaining procedure. The following concerns offer to further simplify this,
Who is with regards to whom?
What is the objective and objective of the relating?
Healthy, inter-dependent relationship
In a balanced mature relationship, one between implies, each individual represents the capability to be accountable for himself (accountability) and to be accountable to the other (relationship) to provide what each has guaranteed.
Independence in a relationship
When a individual represents complete liability for himself/herself only. There is very little or no liability to the associate.
Codependence in a relationship
When a individual becomes far too engaged with another individual in supposing liability for their reactions. They intrude into the liability place of the other individual and don't succeed to believe appropriate liability for themselves.
Signs of codependency
Emotional Signs
- A need for certainty
- A need for control
- Worry and worry
- Brooding and excessive analysis
Behavioral Signs
- Serious modification of the own goals and choices. This may begin out very slightly, but gradually it can be insiduous condition to self-esteem.
- Discrepancy in the power and interest given to the relationship. Some typical styles involve creating most of the cellphone calls, preparing most of the actions etc. Moreover, a very deeply anger can make from an imbalance of really like. This includes: being the one to do most of the thoughtful things—including gift ideas, confessing the other, indicating gratitude, showing really like and really like, and even starting sex.
This indication of imbalance is carefully relevant to the indication of compromise. The one who tends to do the most in the relationship also tends to compromise the most. This can make a Ioss of identification and individual viewpoint. It happens when there's a wish to get away from individual pursuits—and it can improve to compromising your own household and self confidence in deference to what you understand to be your lover's needs.
- Deficit of ability to disengage when it's obvious that there's no more any reciprocity of feeling.
Some concerns to ask yourself
In codependent interactions, being far too "giving" at the price of yourself is a significant problem. This form of "giving" is not according to unconditional really like.
- Do you experience harm or furious when you do not acquire anything back again from your giving?
- Does your providing experience vitalized or more fatigued and more drained?
- Does your providing experience satisfied and wondrous or does it result in you feeling lacking, disappointed or depressed?
- Does your providing make you more highly effective or weaker? Do have better wellness or do you get tired more often from your type of giving?
- Does your way of providing carry fear and fear or serenity and joy?
- Does your providing experience obvious or full?
- Do you usually fear in your relationship, or do you believe in them?
- Do you try to management or let it be?
- Are you connected to results or can you take that all elements perform together for the greatest good?
- Does your way of providing help you experience psychologically more highly effective and more protected or does it experience more at the wish of your lover's feelings and behaviors?
Exercise to get over codependency
1) Recognize someone you have become over-involved with.
Who do you experience accountable for?
What are you accountable for in relationship and to whom are you responsible?
2) Recognize how the relationship relationships are represented
As you check out your body and observe where you feeling relationships from you to the other individual, what do you find? Such representations usually take the way of various metaphors of relationship, such as rules, relationships, attire post, etc.
What are you conscious of in conditions in some metaphoric way that seems to explain how you signify your connectedness?
3) Serious the relationships.
Now think about, for a second, that you have become totally exempt from the relationships.
Does any aspect of you item to this?
If some aspect elements, find out its good objective in developing or maintaining the tie. Recognize what additional obtain (positive intention) you acquire from the relationship.
4) Recognize your outcomes
Identify your objective in maintaining a codependent relationship to this other individual.
What do you get from this relationship?
What do offer this relationship?
What do you have to give? What do you want to receive?
5) Build an perfect self with the flexibility and liability to be yourself.
What would be an perfect picture of you who has all the options, features, and capabilities necessary to have balanced interactions with yourself and your partner?
How clearly can you see, listen to, and experience this perfect self?
Where could you put this picture so that it is in just the right place for prepared access?
Does this perfect self have a way to tell apart liability for and to?
How do you signify that distinction?
6) Become the practical you
Do you now have authorization to detachment each dangerous tie from others?
When you do, then experience yourself linking to your perfect self/Higher Self and experience the power that comes from being absolutely accountable for yourself. How does that feel?
What improvements do you need to make this more highly effective and powerful?
Imagine getting your preferred result as you stay out from this perfect self rather than feeling disadvantaged. What is that like? Relax in all of the excellent thoughts and be with them for a few moments.
7) Be connected others to their own practical self
Do you believe that others are accountable for themselves? That they and they only have the capability to reply psychologically, psychologically, vocally, and behaviorally?
Send this to the others in your lifestyle and think about them linking to their own perfect self/Higher Self and having the capability to sustain excellent limitations and answer properly.
8) Now think about going into your upcoming with all of this, pertaining properly with your associate and others.
An Energy Centered Perspective on Codependency
Have you every considered what really happens to the electro-magnetic place around you ie your element when you practice a deal with with your partner in contrast to when you are connecting lovingly? Or what happens energetically in a codependent relationship?
Energy return in a codependent relationship
There are 2 kinds of codependent power deals.
1) In relation to mostly on the power of your associate for your own well-being.
When we are too much based on another for power, we rely less on the power from Source/God. The relationship cable to Resource, although it is always there, is not used as much for the transference of power. Resource has an endless provide of high-quality lifestyle power power, whereas our associate, is restricted in their own power provide. Centered on power of another can be assets on the individual's power, tiring the other individual gradually.
2) Redirecting most of your power towards your partner
In this situation most of the lifestyle power that one gets is routed to the associate. This improve of power can be frustrating for the associate and they may decline it. The far too providing associate many experience harm by the reaction. Consequently he/she may need more power from the associate, leading to type 1 codependency. This type of terrible circle can cause a relationship to control downwards gradually.
Co-dependency and the Law of Peculiar Intent
When we get away from our pride in a relationship, all we're eventually available is a highly effective feeling of avoid and an frustrating feeling of absence. Consequently, we can never really experience protected. Whatever we have within our relationship is an impression. Since we know our relationship is developed on a lie, we're meant to always experience terrified and obvious. No relationship, habit, or purchase will ever be highly effective enough to complete a middle without pride. Actually, there will never be enough of anything to complete the middle that has missing its recognition.
Why do we set ourselves up for such misery? We engage in a relationship because we plan to be satisfied. Eventually, the search becomes so essential that we're willing to disregard our recognition to power it to occur. We end up feeling separated, puzzled, and not appreciated. In such a condition, we cannot perhaps be satisfied. We have developed the paradox of our intent!
Some recommendations to get over co-dependency:
Pray, reflect to get in touch to Resource. Meditate to get in touch to your Greater Self.
Focus on your own objectives. Imagine yourself as having obtained these objectives. Identify what that would do for you. This would improve your wish, commitment and generate towards reaching your ambitions.
Engage in activities/hobbies that compensate and motivate you with thoughts of fulfillment and fulfillment.
Engage in group assistance tasks.
Invest period in self-improvement - changing abilities and understanding.
Read autobiographies of your aspect models/people whom you appreciate for creativity.
Watch videos/documentaries of your aspect models/people whom you appreciate for creativity.
Most of all, unconditionally know that your associate likes you and perform from that stage. Preferably your relationship should be an inter-dependent one. Independence in interactions can be quite dangerous because this implies that you do not consider your lover's thoughts when doing/deciding on something.Overcome Codependence hypnotism - Co-Dependent No More sessions are developed to help you find out your middle, to re-discover yourself and what truly creates you experience much better. Then you can be with another and reveal of your energy and energy, power and really like in a way that creates you experience much better about you, in a way that preserves your feeling of reliability and self-esteem and to the stage that creates you experience much better. In this way, you never have to experience or act like a martyr or to experience the cramping that were not yours to experience. In this way you can carry on in serenity, without any thoughts of guiltiness or fault and with regard for yourself and for the other individual.