HOW THE CODEPENDENT MIND PLAYS GAMES WITH IT'S SELF IN ORDER TO 'STAY SAFE'.
COGNITIVE DISTORTION is simply a way that our mind convinces us of something that isn’t really true. These inaccurate thoughts are usually used to reinforce negative thinking or emotions — telling ourselves things that sound rational and accurate, but really only serve to keep us in a ‘childish’ mindset unconscious and unaware of all our possibilities.
COGNITIVE DISTORTION Defined:
"Cognitive distortions are exaggerated and irrational thoughts, identified in cognitive therapy and its variants, which in theory perpetuate some psychological disorders. The theory of cognitive distortions was presented by David Burns in The Feeling Good Handbook in 1989, after studying under Aaron T. Beck. Eliminating these distortions and negative thoughts is said to improve mood and discourage maladies such as depression and chronic anxiety. The process of learning to refute these distortions is called "cognitive restructuring".
(From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia)
COGNITIVE DISTORTION is a possible symptom of CODEPENDENCY, Borderline, Narcissistic and Avoidant Personality Disorders.
If you believe you or someone you love match this criteria, take a deep breath & don’t panic. Many people find themselves matching about 70% of criteria for different disorders in DSM IV, yet they don’t have any ‘personality disorders’. And even then only about 1/3 of individuals that are diagnosed with a personality disorder by qualified professionals are believed to actually have the disorder.
What is COGNITIVE DISTORTION (and where in the mind)?
Going deeper…these are unconscious beliefs located in the subconscious…a form of arrested emotional development in childhood that has continued into adult years. Unconscious beliefs that are programmed responses in the fight-flight-freeze response.
Where does COGNITIVE DISTORTION come from?
COGNITIVE DISTORTION is being stuck in (or Anchored to) an emotional level of development from childhood experience also called “resource states”. Out of these ‘negative’ beliefs comes an underlying & unconscious commitment. I.E. I’m not good enough, I was a mistake, I’m dumb, etc.…
Anchoring to a ‘resource state’ and COGNITIVE DISTORTION
To describe this classical conditioning behavior called anchoring in a human context. We must understand and take note that as we go through life we build a lot of anchors for various responses.
Examples: How many of us feel a certain way when we hear "Our song", or have a sense of dread when we hear a certain tone in a parent's voice?
Anchors are learned responses…and the amazing thing about an anchor is that it is usually learned in result of a single learning experience (psychotherapists call the resource state). It is normally the case that there is one defining incident that creates the anchor program in the subconscious. Then the learned response is repeated and conditioned.
Pavlov’s Law
Pavlov was a scientist in the 1800’s who discovered that behaviors could be triggered by signals. Pavlov tested ringing a bell while simultaneously presenting dogs with food. Before long, the dogs ‘learned’ to salivate to the sound of the bell, without the food. The bell became a ‘trigger’ for the response of salivation. Splitting is conditioned in much the same way.
Arrested Emotional Development and COGNITIVE DISTORTION
Central to personality disorder problems, is “arrested emotional development”, which is triggered by parental neglect and/or abuse in infancy and childhood (birth-18 years old).
NOTE: Adult development can be accomplished, but it takes time and treatment to mend the core trauma wounds that are inherently at the root of this dysfunction of emotional development.
Normal Adult Thinking verses COGNITIVE DISTORTION
Critical adult thinking involves…logical reality based thinking and reasoning…(including skills such as comparison, classification, sequencing, cause/effect, patterning, webbing, analogies, deductive & inductive reasoning, forecasting, planning, hypothesizing, & critiquing).
This brings us to “The Eight Psychosocial Stages of Human Development”
Dr. Erik Erikson, the famous psychologist (1902-1994) who proposed these Stages found that...
…Unresolved Childhood Developmental Tasks “leave a life-long residue of emotional immaturity.”
In other words…
You’re original, immature, unidentified Subconscious Issues Are controlling your behaviors—and even your thinking...
So now that you know what COGNITIVE DISTORTION is, how do you go about undoing (or resolving) this subconscious program?
Read how by clicking here:
http://www.theliberatormethod.com
NOTES:
Conquering Codependency
Blaming others for their issues is doubting their own issue, which is at the center of most despair. Only as we experience the simple reality, as God put it, will we ever discover independence and pleasure.
Third, codependents need to quit trying to modify others. They have a coercion to fix anybody but themselves. Trying to modify or fix others only causes aggravation and rage for both events. The only individual we can ever fix or modify is our self, and as we modify, others around us are required to change—one way or the other.
Fourth, the codependent needs to come to conditions with his or her own issue. While an overdependent individual is often based mostly to some way of uncontrollable conduct, the codependent is based mostly to the abuser. Actually, both are overdependent on each other.
Because codependents need to experience required to be able to experience liked, they experience from really like deprival, usually from child years, and have puzzled sensation required for sensation liked. This is why many codependents have gone into the assisting careers.
In purchase to experience required, some codependents will go to any size to keep a disadvantaged individual based mostly on them. They can be devoted to the factor of being dangerous both to themselves and others.
On the exterior, codependency can appear to be very nurturing, type and Religious. However, at its primary it is a misunderstandings of liability. The codependent is so fast paced getting too much liability conference the needs of others, he neglects getting liability for conference his own needs and experiencing his own issues.
In so doing, he short-circuits the organic repercussions of his household's dangerous conduct. For example, provided that Jesse keeps shelling out Phil's charges for him, and keeps getting him again without serious repercussions after his interactions, he will never understand liability in economical issues or interactions. Only when Jesse prevents defending and "saving" Phil and allows him to deal with the repercussions of his reckless company and individual conduct will there be any wish for Phil to restore.
The codependent is
addicted to the abuser.
Regarding Bob, I said to Kym, "It is one factor to take Bob. It is another issue completely to take his transvestite conduct. As lengthy as you take his conduct and keep defending him, he will never get better and, as such, you are being a aspect of his illness."
And provided that Sam keeps shelling out Bill's economical obligations for him, Expenses will never take his own liability and mature.
The reality is, we are all accountable for our conduct. As the Holy bible says, we must all appear before the verdict chair of Jesus to provide an consideration of how sensibly we have resided.1
Codependents need to allow reckless individuals to deal with the repercussions of their activities, and, if necessary, let them hit base. Codependents also need to take liability for themselves and perform on their own development and restoration. One efficient way to do this is to be a aspect of a twelve-step assistance or identical team. Here, you can understand to experience liked for whom your are and not for what you do for others.
Most of all, codependents need to believe in their lifestyle to God—a energy higher than their own—and everyday ask him to deal with them with the actuality of their issue, help them to see the main cause of it, and cause them to the help they need plus the bravery to get over.
God can create a much better job of our lifestyle than we can. Why not believe in your lifestyle to him today?