Codependency Psychotherapy Experiences
Two Clients Comment on Their
Psychotherapy Experiences
Sandra T. Barris, a prominent clinical psychologist, has
described how she felt the impact of her psychotherapy
experience long after its completion.
A friend died recently. I am still assimilating the
loss and taking stock of all that he meant. Jim was
no ordinary friend. He was my therapist some
twenty years ago and a central figure in my
transition from 'adolescence to adulthood. He had
an important influence on my decision to become a
clinical psychologist. Although we saw each other
rarely in the intervening years, the fact of his
existence remained a tangible, if peripheral, fact to
me.
His death has led me once again to reflect on what
it is that matters in therapy and how enduring
changes are wrought. When I think about the girl I
was in my freshman year at the University of
Maryland, and the young woman I was when I
graduated four years later, it is clear that it was not
only the issues Jim and I discussed, but how we
talked that made the difference. The intangibles of
trust, respect, and caring were at least as
important as the active problem solving which
transpired in our weekly meetings
with my struggles of codependency. It was not a
dramatic transformation, rather it was a slight
shifting of a path by a few degrees on the
compass. Over the years that shift has had a
cumulative effect and I walk a very different road
than I would have without him. (Harris, 2009, p. 3)
Another woman, whose problems were much more
serious (extreme codependency and OCD),
described the role her psychotherapist has
played in her personal growth during her treatment for
a schizophrenic disorder.
For a patient and therapist to work together so
closely for so many years, they must establish a
bond that is professional, certainly, but also based
on the commonality of humanness that exists
between two people. I had drawn so far inside
myself and so far away from the world, I had to be
shown not only that the world was safe but also
that I belonged to it, that I was in fact a person.
This grew from years of our working together to
develop mutual respect and acceptance and a
forum of understanding, in which I believed that he
had the capacity to comprehend what I said and
that I had the potential to be understood.
The question of whether the fragile ego of the
schizophrenic patient can withstand the rigors of
intensive therapy seems to me an unfortunate
hindrance to the willingness of psychiatrists to
attempt psychotherapy with schizophrenic
individuals. A fragile ego left alone remains fragile.
It seems there must be some balance that can be
achieved so that schizophrenic patients can
receive the benefits of psychotherapy with
therapists who are sensitive to their special needs
and can help their egos emerge, little by little.
Medication or superficial support alone is not a
substitute for the feeling that one is understood by
another human being. For me, the greatest gift
came the day that I realized that my therapist really
had stood by me for years and that he would
continue to stand by me and to help me achieve
what I wanted to achieve. With that realization my
viability as a person began to grow. I do not
profess to be cured-I still feel the pain, fear, and
frustration of my illness. I know I have a long road
ahead of me, but I can honestly say that I am no
longer without hope. (A Recovering Patient, 1998,
p.68)
Psychotherapy Experiences
Sandra T. Barris, a prominent clinical psychologist, has
described how she felt the impact of her psychotherapy
experience long after its completion.
A friend died recently. I am still assimilating the
loss and taking stock of all that he meant. Jim was
no ordinary friend. He was my therapist some
twenty years ago and a central figure in my
transition from 'adolescence to adulthood. He had
an important influence on my decision to become a
clinical psychologist. Although we saw each other
rarely in the intervening years, the fact of his
existence remained a tangible, if peripheral, fact to
me.
His death has led me once again to reflect on what
it is that matters in therapy and how enduring
changes are wrought. When I think about the girl I
was in my freshman year at the University of
Maryland, and the young woman I was when I
graduated four years later, it is clear that it was not
only the issues Jim and I discussed, but how we
talked that made the difference. The intangibles of
trust, respect, and caring were at least as
important as the active problem solving which
transpired in our weekly meetings
with my struggles of codependency. It was not a
dramatic transformation, rather it was a slight
shifting of a path by a few degrees on the
compass. Over the years that shift has had a
cumulative effect and I walk a very different road
than I would have without him. (Harris, 2009, p. 3)
Another woman, whose problems were much more
serious (extreme codependency and OCD),
described the role her psychotherapist has
played in her personal growth during her treatment for
a schizophrenic disorder.
For a patient and therapist to work together so
closely for so many years, they must establish a
bond that is professional, certainly, but also based
on the commonality of humanness that exists
between two people. I had drawn so far inside
myself and so far away from the world, I had to be
shown not only that the world was safe but also
that I belonged to it, that I was in fact a person.
This grew from years of our working together to
develop mutual respect and acceptance and a
forum of understanding, in which I believed that he
had the capacity to comprehend what I said and
that I had the potential to be understood.
The question of whether the fragile ego of the
schizophrenic patient can withstand the rigors of
intensive therapy seems to me an unfortunate
hindrance to the willingness of psychiatrists to
attempt psychotherapy with schizophrenic
individuals. A fragile ego left alone remains fragile.
It seems there must be some balance that can be
achieved so that schizophrenic patients can
receive the benefits of psychotherapy with
therapists who are sensitive to their special needs
and can help their egos emerge, little by little.
Medication or superficial support alone is not a
substitute for the feeling that one is understood by
another human being. For me, the greatest gift
came the day that I realized that my therapist really
had stood by me for years and that he would
continue to stand by me and to help me achieve
what I wanted to achieve. With that realization my
viability as a person began to grow. I do not
profess to be cured-I still feel the pain, fear, and
frustration of my illness. I know I have a long road
ahead of me, but I can honestly say that I am no
longer without hope. (A Recovering Patient, 1998,
p.68)
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If you are ready to schedule a FREE Consultation...
I encourage you to access this website
for the codependency treatment I recommend here:
http://www.TheLiberatorMethod.com/